America’s Annoying Telemarketers

America’s annoying salespeople

Recently, I was informed – by phone – that as a part of a special promotion, I was the “lucky” winner of a two night cruise for two. Great, I thought, so I agreed to play along. The sales representative, Pedro, had the sound of someone who drank a gallon of red bull before making the call. He spent the better part of sixteen minutes explaining to me all the comforts of the cruise vacation, and I listened attentively, playing the role of a vulnerable impulse buyer, eager to give my credit card number at the beckoning of this master salesman.

Pedro explained to me that though transportation, meals and accommodation on the cruise line were included in my “prize”, I would have to pay the port fee – $59 per person. He further informed me that I was allowed to travel with up to three guests. When he asked about my relationship status and I told him I’m single, he was quick to inform me of the fun my boys and I could have on this trip. The girls of South Beach, the single ladies who will be on the ship and the thrill of being out on a boat with the ocean breeze rushing in my face. Exciting stuff.

After Pedro picked up that he “had me sold” on the “free” vacation, he was quick to inform me of how he can make it even better. I would be getting a rental car, 3 days at a hotel in Ft. Lauder dale, and three days at another property in Orlando for the incredible price of (drum roll)…(knock some Dutch pot cover)….$538. All I had to do to get this unbelievable package, valued by Pedro at over $2,000, was provide my credit card information.

I like games, and am usually a very playful person, especially when I have time to spare. So I played along. OK Pedro, I am very interested, give me your telephone number, and I will be happy to call you back. “No” said Pedro, in his Red bull induced enthusiasm, “the deal is only for today”.

I’m certain Pedro is disgusted at people like me who waste his time occasionally. Though I’m annoyed by telemarketer’s, they sometimes provide useful amusement. Sadly, they remind me of con men.

I lived on Rosalie Avenue, Kingston, in the nineties. Though violence plagued the communities surrounding us, we were more known for our con men. There was a garage at the top of our road, which sold Japanese auto parts very cheap. Several hoodlums would usually pose as employees, engaging would be customers in conversations to win there trust (sometimes promising these customers that they would be able to get the car parts even cheaper due to employee discounts). After the trust is won, these con men would usually collect monies from the shoppers, promising to return with car parts. By now you know where this is going. Suffice to say, many people came to our street in search of cheap parts, and left with broken hearts.

Am I saying that people like Pedro are con men? No, I’m not SAYING that. In the same sense, saying someone reminds you of a politician is not the same as saying that someone is a politician. It only means that they have similar characteristics, though different professions. My Rosalie Avenue exposure has left a distrust for folks who have “one day only” offers of cheapness requiring my money on the spot.